Bitter Ex-Wives & Other Freaks of Nature

Being the new wife takes on a new demension when the EX won’t let go. My true story…

April 1, 2000 – Saturday Night Salsa August 22, 2007

Filed under: bitterness,divorce,girlfriends,love — bitterexwives @ 3:07 pm

  Tonight, I plan to party! To celebrate Dionne’s birthday, albeit belatedly, we are going to dinner and later Salsa dancing.  Unlike Dionne, the rest of us are Salsa virgins – in typical Dionne fashion, it’s her birthday and she wants to outshine us.  With three months of lessons under her belt and numerous trips to various salsa clubs Dionne plans to dance circles around us and obliterate any competition for meeting men – not that I am looking.

  Presently, I need a man like I need a hole in the head.  All of my needs can be summarized into two basic categories…Sex and Capital.  Yes, I sound like a bitter woman, but what the hell; at least I recognize the signs.  After Bryce, why would I want to date another guy and ultimately end up in another bad marriage? 

  Although, dating for money is one alternative.  Considering Bryce has left me high and dry with the responsibility for paying all of the bills, let me remind you, all of the bills we once paid as a double income couple – I am always budgeting down to my last dollar.  I could enjoy dating a man with a little excess cash to share.  That way, if my car needs a tune-up, my furnace dies, or my long distance bill is too high, I could call Mr. Capital for a cash advance without the responsibility for repayment. Okay, Okay, okay – I know I am deluding myself.  I could never date a man strictly for money; it looks and feels too much like prostitution. Payment is always inevitable – either in sex or cash.

  Dating for the sole purpose of sex is another possibility – men do it all of the time.  While the thought gives me some perverse satisfaction, I am not capable of doing this either. I’d end up falling in love with a man that I knew nothing about, but the size of his dick. MEN! Uugghh!

  Another reason why I am not looking for a man tonight is because men are like the prize inside a “Cracker Jack” box.  You never know what you are actually getting. Men pretend to be perfect gentlemen when you first meet them.  They take you out to dinner, they buy you flowers, they compliment you, and generally make you feel good about yourself.  The real crafty ones will engage you in conversation, listen to your thoughts, and even share their emotions.  On the surface, they appear to be the monogamous marrying type.  The problem – it’s not real.  Not real at all, more like a facade, a phony, a sham! They are after one thing and one thing only…the coochie!  That’s right, I’ll say it again…the C-O-O-C-H-I-E! In addition, the real devious ones are looking for a sugar mama with good coochie!  Men know a sugar mama when they see one… nice woman, with an excellent job, high salary, great credit, and benefits who is looking for a man and doesn’t mind sharing the wealth OR the coochie.

  Therefore, if I manage to get a man to look at me after he’s seen Dionne, I figure we can intermittently dance and grind all night. As far as I am concerned, men cannot be trusted for more than sex and sometimes even that is suspect.  But for tonight, my thoughts will be focused on dancing and grinding…dancing and grinding.  What’s wrong with a little self-satisfaction through sexual gratification if limited to near orgasms on the dance floor?

I need to run to the mall to purchase something sexy to wear…

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March 26, 2000 (Afternoon) – Finding Peace With God August 4, 2007

Filed under: bitterness,divorce,life,love,peace — bitterexwives @ 3:30 am

  I just arrived home from church. It is still difficult to go, but this morning when I awoke, I knew it was meant for me to go.  For the first time in months, there was a sense of urgency within me to go to the house of the Lord for prayer, praise, and worship. 

  There has been an anger almost to the point of bitterness festering within me.  I committed my life to God almost ten years ago.  Has my life been perfect? No – but I have always tried my best to be the person that God has called me to be.  That is why for years I participated in dance, Bible Studies, assisting with baptisms, assisting with prayer for others, working with the teenagers, participating in outreach programs, setting up and managing the church bookstore, and numerous other activities. During these last few months, I could not understand why God would allow this terrible thing to happen to me.  Why me? Why did my husband cheat on me? Why did he lie to me?  Why did he leave me?  Why didn’t Bryce fight for me? I was angry that God refused to snap his fingers and immediately restore my life and marriage.  There were many nights when I cried…DO SOMETHING GOD!  Hurry up and make Bryce see how wrong he is.  Make Bryce see how much I love and need him. Make him miserable without me!

  While in prayer during service, I received my answer. I began to see things out of God’s eyes…The greatest gift God has given us was His Son, Jesus Christ.  The second was free will.  God always loves us, regardless of whether we love Him – we are simply given the choice to love Him in return.  I realized that I am no more powerful than God.  If God has given us the choice to love Him, who am I to think or even expect God to make Bryce love me.  What made me think that I could force Bryce to love me? Even though God has the power, if He won’t use it to make us love Him why would He use it to make Bryce love me.  While painful to acknowledge…I came to terms with the fact that not only did I have unrealistic expectations, I was being foolish.

  Before leaving church, I released my anger and asked for forgiveness. For the first time in months, I experienced a sense of peace.

 

March 25, 2000 – Libel or Slander? August 1, 2007

Filed under: advertising,bitterness,divorce,libel,life,love,slander — bitterexwives @ 2:22 am

  All day I have been thinking about making flyers and posting them around Margo’s old church and job.  Something like…

“Beware! If you see this woman run for cover.  She is a known husband thief.”

or

 “Alert! Your marriage is not safe in the presence of this woman!”

or

“This is my marriage before Margo…This is my marriage after Margo.  Any questions?”

  I really hate Margo right now.  I keep thinking that Bryce’s mother is going to give my bedroom furniture to Margo now that they are in a relationship.  And now I hate Bryce.  Maybe I could post flyers at his old job and send copies to the management staff at his current location.  I am going to poll Celeste and Abigail to see which of the following they would choose…

“Liar, adulterer, creator of broken hearts…Bryce King.”

or

“If integrity is not your concern…hire Bryce King.”

or

“Bryce King…continued failure to satisfy sexually.”

or

“Bryce King…a master of deception and teller of lies.”

  Considering all of the allegations are true am I committing libel or slander?  What’s the worse they can do?  Sue me?  Go-ahead Bryce…make my day!

 

 

March 21, 2000 – Janice Thompson, Attorney At Law July 27, 2007

Filed under: attorney,divorce,fashion,life,love — bitterexwives @ 8:48 pm

  The appointment with Janice, yes we are on a first name basis, was significantly less traumatic than the appointment with Dr. Ellis. Establishing a sense of control has its benefits – partial restoration of my self-esteem and self-confidence being the top two.  For the past four months, I unknowingly surrendered control of my life to Bryce.  Conversations were had at his convenience, time spent together was coordinated at his discretion, the state of our marriage was dictated by his desire to remain faithful or not, even my financial situation was based upon whether Bryce felt inclined to send his portion of our joint financial obligations.  Emotionally, financially, and spiritually I had become dependent upon Bryce. Well not anymore!

  Janice’s office is located on the outskirts of downtown Indianapolis, which is conveniently less than a 10-minute commute from my office.  Armed with our entire marital financial history, I walked into Janice’s office with a renewed confidence and greeted Darlene, the legal secretary/paralegal.  The waiting area was beautifully decorated by someone with great taste.  The burgundy leather sofa and wing back chairs with brass studs were stereotypical attorney furniture yet spoke of high quality.  While the furniture carried a masculine feel, the room was softened by a large floral arrangement displayed upon an ornately carved pedestal.  Strategically placed throughout the room were floral oil paintings, small bric-a-brac, and an eclectic selection of magazines that boasted a definite feminine presence.  Only a woman or gay man pays that much attention to detail and placement. Instinctively, I knew I was going to like Janice. 

  Within minutes, Darlene showed me into Janice’s personal conference room.  The waiting room wasn’t a facade for a shabby and dilapidated office space – the hand of the decorating genius apparently extended to every room I passed, which included the library, bathroom, main conference room and the attorney’s personal offices.  I know you should never judge a book by its cover or the integrity of a woman by her Manolo Blahniks, but I was impressed.  To be truthful, I couldn’t wait to meet Janice in person!  It is shameful I know, but I was really hoping she would enter the conference room in a flourish wearing a Donna Karen suit, Jimmy Choo stilettos, and flaunting amazing hair. Yes, at times, I am shallow – but I can’t help it, I love fashion!

  At exactly 5:30, Janice entered the conference room and she did not disappoint the fashion aficionado living within me. That is until I looked at her hair!  Aaagghhhh! My mission, now that I have chosen to accept it – for the Mission Impossible fans like myself – is to make sure Janice switches to my hair salon, preferably my stylist by the end of my divorce.  After introductions, Janice sat at the conference table and grilled me for 30 minutes about my courtship and marriage to Bryce, our current separation, and impending divorce. Even though I promised myself I wouldn’t cry, holding back the tears was impossible.  Janice whipped out a Kleenex from her hidden stash and consoled me, but kept the dialog going – which at a $150 dollars an hours for her services I was appreciative.

  By 7:30, all of the paperwork was completed and ready for Darlene to type.  I was digging in my purse for my checkbook to pay the first $500 dollar installment towards Janice’s $1500 retainer fee. Pissed does not accurately describe my feelings toward Bryce for causing my continued financial demise. He is such an ass!

  In any case, Janice scheduled an appointment for me to return tomorrow at noon. The final paperwork will be ready for my signature and Darlene will file everything with the Domestic Relations Court. I am actually getting divorced. 

 

March 11, 2000 – Middle of the Night Blues July 10, 2007

Filed under: divorce,life,love — bitterexwives @ 12:23 am

  The lights are off and I have been lying in bed for hours. Dawn is only a few hours away and sleep continues to elude me.  My tears dried up hours ago, but the aching in my heart continues. I decided to write Bryce a poem:

 “I gave you my heart,

You should have guarded it as though it were your very own,

But you were reckless with it, and

Intentionally caused it pain.

I gave you my heart

the responsibility belonged to you to care for it

never open it up or expose it

or give others the opportunity to pierce it.

I gave you my heart

upon your honor I expected you to protect it.

Encourage it, nurture it, strengthen it,

but never neglect it.

I gave you my heart,

You didn’t hold onto it even though you selected it.

Never give another rights to it

only love and treasure it.”

  Isn’t this supposed to be what love does? Is this not what love is?  Do I live under false illusions? Have I fallen prey to unrealistic expectations?  Will I ever find love?

  My marriage is over…