Bitter Ex-Wives & Other Freaks of Nature

Being the new wife takes on a new demension when the EX won’t let go. My true story…

March 30, 2000 (Evening) – Will Work For Food August 20, 2007

Filed under: divorce,family,furniture,insufficient funds,life — bitterexwives @ 2:08 pm

  Call it pride, call it what you will, but today has been quite a humbling experience.  As a child and even more so as an adult, I have always been very independent.  I do not like to ask for help unless it is absolutely necessary and today I had to ask for money to cover the bad check I had written.

  I remember when I was in college and moved into a new apartment.  My new roommate, Roselyn, was not scheduled to move into the apartment for another two weeks so I was living there alone.  My measly possessions consisted of the clothing on my back and in my closet as well as a few miscellaneous pots, pans, plates, and silverware.  Looking back in hindsight, I was about $50 dollars shy of being homeless.  But, with a roof over my head and enough money to eat and buy gas – I was content.

  The first night in my apartment was evidence of this fact.  Armed with blankets and comforters – remnants from my last apartment, I made a pallet and slept on the hardwood floor.  Every morning thereafter, I would awake groggy, stiff, and sore, but without complaints.  It could be worse so, I didn’t complain and no one knew the circumstances of my situation except my family.  Unfortunately, during this time, we meaning my family and me were not on the best of terms.  Actually, my dad and I were not speaking so there was no way in hell I was going to call him and ask for anything.  Especially since I knew he would say “NO” – so why waste the energy?

  Nevertheless, about two weeks later, I received a phone call from my mother, with a secret plot to undermine my father’s authority.  Unbeknownst to my father, my mother bought me bedroom furniture and needed assistance with her plan to deliver the spoils to my apartment.  There was no way my father could ever find out about her subterfuge or all would be lost. 

  Months later, the relationship between my father and I was restored, however, it is out of my character to ask for help.  Thus, taking me back to the present – asking my mother for money.  As I explained earlier, it was a very humbling experience.  Everything in me was having an adverse reaction to the idea…at one point I think my blood pressure began to rise and my heart began palpitating.  Okay, I’m exaggerating, but you get the point.  However, by lunchtime, I could not put the deed off any longer…not with the threat of a bounced check looming in the background.

  When I explained the situation with Bryce, the bedroom furniture, and his mother – who my mother hates and affectionately calls “Hattie the Witch” – there was no need to ask for the money.  My mother immediately asked me what I needed.  Thank you Lord! I considered making a sign that said…”Will Work For Food” and holding it up when I saw her.  My mother has such a sick sense of humor; she would have doubled over with laughter.   Too bad, it was hectic at work this morning, because I didn’t get a chance to create the sign.

  During the walk to my mother’s office, I was filled with such relief.  While only a 10-minute walk from my office, I was invigorated by the time we met during my lunch break.  Quickly, we exchanged a $350 dollar check for hugs and I was on my way to the bank.   However, not without one last comment about “Hattie the Witch”!  Sometimes my mother can be such a “mean girl” and I absolutely love her for it!

  I wanted to email Bryce and pass on this message…”once again I have foiled your evil plot to destroy me.  Like the Phoenix, I shall rise out of the ashes!”  Maybe not, I don’t want him to know that I waste time thinking about him.  My earlier counseling session was emotional enough.


March 30, 2000 (Morning) – Insufficient Funds August 15, 2007

Filed under: bitterness,divorce,furniture,insufficient funds,life — bitterexwives @ 6:17 pm

  This morning I awoke in a complete panic. Last night, between Arhaus and Macy’s I spent over $4000.00. Okay Angel…take deep cleansing breaths and relax.  Deep cleansing breaths…and relax.  One last time…deep cleansing breaths…and relax.

  It’s not so bad…everything was financed except the mattress.  I wrote a $350.00 dollar check for a fabulous, king sized, pillow top Serta mattress, which was a great deal.  To Macy’s chagrin and my surprise, the mattress was lost in inventory and recently found.  Originally $1100.00 dollars before taxes, I purchased the bed and paid for the delivery charges for the rock bottom price of $350.00 dollars. Unfortunately, I don’t have the money to cover the check.  Yes, that was a really bad move. No, I should not have written the check – I can see my checking account bouncing from here to Hong Kong and then being arrested for attempting to defraud a financial institution. Oh God, it’s time to pray.

  “Lord, if you are listening to me right now, I ask that you come to my rescue.  I know I wrote a bad check, please show me favor and move on the hearts of all my friends and family that I may have to call to beg for money.  Please God, let someone say yes to my request. I cannot afford to bounce a check.  Lord, I thank you in advance.  Amen.”

 Once I get to work, I’ll call my mom.  If I need to take an extended lunch to pull together the money and deposit it in my account, then so be it. This is yet another reason to hate Bryce.  I really cannot afford to lose my job because I am begging for money.  I already need to leave work early to go to my counseling session in order to make it to class on time.

  What else can I do?