Bitter Ex-Wives & Other Freaks of Nature

Being the new wife takes on a new demension when the EX won’t let go. My true story…

March 30, 2000 (Evening) – Will Work For Food August 20, 2007

Filed under: divorce,family,furniture,insufficient funds,life — bitterexwives @ 2:08 pm

  Call it pride, call it what you will, but today has been quite a humbling experience.  As a child and even more so as an adult, I have always been very independent.  I do not like to ask for help unless it is absolutely necessary and today I had to ask for money to cover the bad check I had written.

  I remember when I was in college and moved into a new apartment.  My new roommate, Roselyn, was not scheduled to move into the apartment for another two weeks so I was living there alone.  My measly possessions consisted of the clothing on my back and in my closet as well as a few miscellaneous pots, pans, plates, and silverware.  Looking back in hindsight, I was about $50 dollars shy of being homeless.  But, with a roof over my head and enough money to eat and buy gas – I was content.

  The first night in my apartment was evidence of this fact.  Armed with blankets and comforters – remnants from my last apartment, I made a pallet and slept on the hardwood floor.  Every morning thereafter, I would awake groggy, stiff, and sore, but without complaints.  It could be worse so, I didn’t complain and no one knew the circumstances of my situation except my family.  Unfortunately, during this time, we meaning my family and me were not on the best of terms.  Actually, my dad and I were not speaking so there was no way in hell I was going to call him and ask for anything.  Especially since I knew he would say “NO” – so why waste the energy?

  Nevertheless, about two weeks later, I received a phone call from my mother, with a secret plot to undermine my father’s authority.  Unbeknownst to my father, my mother bought me bedroom furniture and needed assistance with her plan to deliver the spoils to my apartment.  There was no way my father could ever find out about her subterfuge or all would be lost. 

  Months later, the relationship between my father and I was restored, however, it is out of my character to ask for help.  Thus, taking me back to the present – asking my mother for money.  As I explained earlier, it was a very humbling experience.  Everything in me was having an adverse reaction to the idea…at one point I think my blood pressure began to rise and my heart began palpitating.  Okay, I’m exaggerating, but you get the point.  However, by lunchtime, I could not put the deed off any longer…not with the threat of a bounced check looming in the background.

  When I explained the situation with Bryce, the bedroom furniture, and his mother – who my mother hates and affectionately calls “Hattie the Witch” – there was no need to ask for the money.  My mother immediately asked me what I needed.  Thank you Lord! I considered making a sign that said…”Will Work For Food” and holding it up when I saw her.  My mother has such a sick sense of humor; she would have doubled over with laughter.   Too bad, it was hectic at work this morning, because I didn’t get a chance to create the sign.

  During the walk to my mother’s office, I was filled with such relief.  While only a 10-minute walk from my office, I was invigorated by the time we met during my lunch break.  Quickly, we exchanged a $350 dollar check for hugs and I was on my way to the bank.   However, not without one last comment about “Hattie the Witch”!  Sometimes my mother can be such a “mean girl” and I absolutely love her for it!

  I wanted to email Bryce and pass on this message…”once again I have foiled your evil plot to destroy me.  Like the Phoenix, I shall rise out of the ashes!”  Maybe not, I don’t want him to know that I waste time thinking about him.  My earlier counseling session was emotional enough.

 

March 30, 2000 (Morning) – Insufficient Funds August 15, 2007

Filed under: bitterness,divorce,furniture,insufficient funds,life — bitterexwives @ 6:17 pm

  This morning I awoke in a complete panic. Last night, between Arhaus and Macy’s I spent over $4000.00. Okay Angel…take deep cleansing breaths and relax.  Deep cleansing breaths…and relax.  One last time…deep cleansing breaths…and relax.

  It’s not so bad…everything was financed except the mattress.  I wrote a $350.00 dollar check for a fabulous, king sized, pillow top Serta mattress, which was a great deal.  To Macy’s chagrin and my surprise, the mattress was lost in inventory and recently found.  Originally $1100.00 dollars before taxes, I purchased the bed and paid for the delivery charges for the rock bottom price of $350.00 dollars. Unfortunately, I don’t have the money to cover the check.  Yes, that was a really bad move. No, I should not have written the check – I can see my checking account bouncing from here to Hong Kong and then being arrested for attempting to defraud a financial institution. Oh God, it’s time to pray.

  “Lord, if you are listening to me right now, I ask that you come to my rescue.  I know I wrote a bad check, please show me favor and move on the hearts of all my friends and family that I may have to call to beg for money.  Please God, let someone say yes to my request. I cannot afford to bounce a check.  Lord, I thank you in advance.  Amen.”

 Once I get to work, I’ll call my mom.  If I need to take an extended lunch to pull together the money and deposit it in my account, then so be it. This is yet another reason to hate Bryce.  I really cannot afford to lose my job because I am begging for money.  I already need to leave work early to go to my counseling session in order to make it to class on time.

  What else can I do?

 

March 29, 2000 – Another Call From the Church Elder

Filed under: divorce,furniture,life,relationships — bitterexwives @ 3:57 am

  Sometimes I think I am a hypochondriac.  Okay maybe that’s the wrong word…let’s try another word…clinically paranoid.  Is that even a medical term?  Who knows, my life, my thoughts, I’ll make up my own words. I know I am rambling incessantly – I can’t help it.

  All day I have teetered back and forth between feeling sexy now that my navel is pierced and worrying if I contracted some mysterious incurable disease from ACME, the place where I obtained the piercing. Better yet, I have alternated between contracting a disease to the more likely possibility that an infection is festering just under the surface of the skin.  Diligently, I have been following the instructions given to me by the “piercing experts,” but I still worry.  Even though it has only been 24 hours, washing and drying the piercing twice a day has already become an aggravation.  However, aggravation or not, my fear of the lockjaw overpowered the aggravation.

  That fear motivated me to call Dionne and gracefully bow out of dance practice tonight.  I kept envisioning one of the dancers accidentally kicking me in the stomach.  Or even better, while practicing the dance routine with the back over-the-shoulder roll, I could imagine all too clearly crashing into one of the other dancers and my navel ring tangled in someone’s hair.  I know it’s absurd, especially since I have never been kicked in any body part nor tangled in anyone’s hair, but my paranoia was overwhelming.  This led me to leaving work early, quickly putting on a baby tee exposing my new navel piercing, and heading straight to the mall. 

   Today was unseasonably warm.  The cute tee combine with a denim jacket gave me a funky yet comfortable look – perfect for shopping.  The first stop, Arhaus Furniture in Merchants Square. Since I was playing hooky from dance practice, I figured I should make the best of it.  My purchase list included bedroom furniture…yes I am still looking for new bedroom furniture, which pisses me off tremendously, and if I have time, more shirts that show off my navel ring.

  The highlight of my night…I found a bed that literally took my breath away.  An absolutely beautiful work of art, this bed was made of cream wrought iron with a filigree design on both the head and footboard. The filigree design contained an intricate pattern that alternated between swirls, circles, and flowers. I have never seen anything like it.  Considering my lack of readily available cash, I was thankful when the sales associate explained the one-year same-as-cash sales event. The stars were aligned in my favor – 20 minutes later, I was leaving Arhaus Furniture with a sales receipt in my purse and a delivery date scheduled for Saturday.  Darn! There goes shirt shopping I needed to find a mattress for my new king sized bed. 

  At Macy’s Furniture Gallery, I headed straight to the mattress section.  The last time I was here, I picked out the most decadent king-sized pillow top mattress.  Because I did not have a bed in mind, the need to purchase a new mattress was the least of my concerns.  The god’s were showing me favor, the mattress was on sale and available for delivery on Saturday. Then I saw it…a painted wood ensemble in the softest creamy white.  White is too harsh…the color of buttermilk is probably more accurate.  At that moment, I knew nothing else would satisfy my tastes; I had to have the dresser and chest of drawers as a compliment to the new wrought iron bed.  I was in love.  Within minutes, I had another one-year same-as-cash contract in hand and a third delivery scheduled for Saturday.

  I could not wait to get home and call Celeste. She knew how stressful furniture shopping was…not really knowing what my tastes were, anxiety over the idea of making a major purchase – alone, and even worse knowing that I was operating on such a tight budget that I would not be able to afford the type of bedroom furniture that took my breath away. The type of furniture I found today.

  For the first time in months, I was looking forward to going home and planning how I would decorate the rest of my bedroom.  The last few weeks I had been so angry with Bryce and the world at large that this brief moment of piece felt like a safe haven in the midst of a raging storm.  I was startled to find myself pulling in the driveway of the home I used to share with Bryce. Refusing to dwell on that thought, I grabbed the phone as soon as I shut and locked the front door to check my messages first prior to calling Celeste.

  “Hello, this message is for Angel.  Angel, this is Melodie, call me when you get in.” No big deal I thought, I’ll call Melodie quickly before I call Celeste. I figured whatever Melodie wanted, we could discuss in five minutes or less.  That is all I had the patience to give to serious conversation tonight – I wanted to laugh. 

  “Hello, may I speak to Melodie?”

  “This is she. Is this Angel?”

  “Yes, I hope it’s not too late, but I just received your message.  Is everything alright?”

  “Absolutely.  Actually, I wanted to talk to you about Terrence.  After our meeting last night, he really opened up and began talking to me about some personal issues that he is currently dealing with.  Have you talked to Terrence recently?”

  “Actually no. I had no idea that he was dealing with some personal issues.”

  “Well, I am not at liberty to discuss them, but I will say, if Terrence is willing to open up, you will be able to understand what he is going through.  Terrence really needs a friend right now.  A friend he can trust.”

  “Okay, I will call him.  Do you have his new number? ”

  “All I have is his pager number. I am sure if you leave him a message, Terrence will return your call.”

  After writing down Terrence’s pager number, we ended the call and I left Terrence a message on his pager. My curiosity was getting the best of me. I wonder what this could be about.

 

March 26, 2000 (Early Evening) – Furniture Shopping August 4, 2007

Filed under: divorce,furniture,life,mother-in-law — bitterexwives @ 5:02 am

  My shopping expedition for bedroom furniture began this afternoon at Macy’s in Castleton Mall. Based on this experience, I decided that I absolutely, without question or doubt, abhor furniture shopping!  Never in my entire life, did I know there were so many furniture stores located within the Indianapolis area. Macy’s was selected because; I could combine furniture shopping with clothes shopping. That way I was guaranteed some measure of success. Even if I failed to procure a bedroom suite I was guaranteed to leave the mall with a fabulous pair of shoes.

  Once inside Macy’s Furniture Gallery, I was immediately overwhelmed with the sheer number of choices available to me. Prior to leaving the house, I had not given the furniture selection process enough thought.  My only predetermined decision consisted of:

• a queen sized bed;
• a firm mattress;
• a dresser; and
• a chest of drawers. 

  While walking through the Furniture Gallery, I was accosted by hundreds of manufacturers, styles, and colors.  Not to mention a wide range of prices and varying degrees of quality.  There were sleigh beds, poster beds, and beds made of wrought iron.  There were twin size, full size, queen size, and two types of king sized beds.  Wood choices became difficult – maple or pine, hard wood or softer woods, or no wood at all.  Why do furniture stores carry such large selections of furniture?  How am I supposed to select quality furniture within my budget? What if upon delivery I decide I hate my purchase – can I return it?

  Immediately intimidated, I flagged down the nearest sales consultant.  (Is sales consultant politically correct?) Two hours later, I left Macy’s Furniture Gallery, without making a purchase, but with a greater level of understanding of my likes and dislikes. With the help of the ever so friendly Roxanne, Wonder Woman Sales Consultant, I had a list of bedroom suites I really liked with catalogs describing not only the set, but also other available complimentary pieces within the same group offered by the manufacturer.

  While in the car, I cried at the unfairness of it all.  Why do I have to give back to my soon-to-be ex-mother-in-law the bedroom furniture she gave Bryce after we married? “Enough Angel”, I chastised myself, “you are on a mission.  Now get to it!” My next stop was Crate&Barrel in Fashion Mall at Keystone.