Bitter Ex-Wives & Other Freaks of Nature

Being the new wife takes on a new demension when the EX won’t let go. My true story…

March 30, 2000 (Evening) – Will Work For Food August 20, 2007

Filed under: divorce,family,furniture,insufficient funds,life — bitterexwives @ 2:08 pm

  Call it pride, call it what you will, but today has been quite a humbling experience.  As a child and even more so as an adult, I have always been very independent.  I do not like to ask for help unless it is absolutely necessary and today I had to ask for money to cover the bad check I had written.

  I remember when I was in college and moved into a new apartment.  My new roommate, Roselyn, was not scheduled to move into the apartment for another two weeks so I was living there alone.  My measly possessions consisted of the clothing on my back and in my closet as well as a few miscellaneous pots, pans, plates, and silverware.  Looking back in hindsight, I was about $50 dollars shy of being homeless.  But, with a roof over my head and enough money to eat and buy gas – I was content.

  The first night in my apartment was evidence of this fact.  Armed with blankets and comforters – remnants from my last apartment, I made a pallet and slept on the hardwood floor.  Every morning thereafter, I would awake groggy, stiff, and sore, but without complaints.  It could be worse so, I didn’t complain and no one knew the circumstances of my situation except my family.  Unfortunately, during this time, we meaning my family and me were not on the best of terms.  Actually, my dad and I were not speaking so there was no way in hell I was going to call him and ask for anything.  Especially since I knew he would say “NO” – so why waste the energy?

  Nevertheless, about two weeks later, I received a phone call from my mother, with a secret plot to undermine my father’s authority.  Unbeknownst to my father, my mother bought me bedroom furniture and needed assistance with her plan to deliver the spoils to my apartment.  There was no way my father could ever find out about her subterfuge or all would be lost. 

  Months later, the relationship between my father and I was restored, however, it is out of my character to ask for help.  Thus, taking me back to the present – asking my mother for money.  As I explained earlier, it was a very humbling experience.  Everything in me was having an adverse reaction to the idea…at one point I think my blood pressure began to rise and my heart began palpitating.  Okay, I’m exaggerating, but you get the point.  However, by lunchtime, I could not put the deed off any longer…not with the threat of a bounced check looming in the background.

  When I explained the situation with Bryce, the bedroom furniture, and his mother – who my mother hates and affectionately calls “Hattie the Witch” – there was no need to ask for the money.  My mother immediately asked me what I needed.  Thank you Lord! I considered making a sign that said…”Will Work For Food” and holding it up when I saw her.  My mother has such a sick sense of humor; she would have doubled over with laughter.   Too bad, it was hectic at work this morning, because I didn’t get a chance to create the sign.

  During the walk to my mother’s office, I was filled with such relief.  While only a 10-minute walk from my office, I was invigorated by the time we met during my lunch break.  Quickly, we exchanged a $350 dollar check for hugs and I was on my way to the bank.   However, not without one last comment about “Hattie the Witch”!  Sometimes my mother can be such a “mean girl” and I absolutely love her for it!

  I wanted to email Bryce and pass on this message…”once again I have foiled your evil plot to destroy me.  Like the Phoenix, I shall rise out of the ashes!”  Maybe not, I don’t want him to know that I waste time thinking about him.  My earlier counseling session was emotional enough.

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March 24, 2000 – Monster-In-Law July 31, 2007

Filed under: bitterness,divorce,family,life,mother-in-law — bitterexwives @ 3:46 pm

  This morning I rose and made a resolution.  Call it a New Day Resolution…I was going to be happy today.  I purposed to think happy thoughts and to cry as little as possible, which so far has decreased to twice a day!

  I picked out the cutest outfit – black fitted pants from Express with the matching fitted vest made of some bizarre stretchy but chic material.  You know, Destiny’s Child tight not Alice from Mel’s Diner tight.  To finish my ensemble, I included a long sleeve fitted t-shirt and chunky wedge heels from Nine West.  I was sexy and probably dressed more appropriately for the club instead of work. What the hell – I was cute and my boobs weren’t showing!  When the guys working in the parking garage at work paid me a little extra attention, I was convinced my outfit was the right choice.  I actually felt good about myself.

  With a productive morning behind me and no tears shed, I was on cloud nine and ready for lunch. Then my phone rang – office phone, not a cell phone, because I am too cheap to incur the expense. Considering I had not heard from Bryce in a week, I was quite surprised to hear his voice on the other end.

  “Angel, I don’t have a lot of time to talk. I need to schedule a time for my mother to pick up the rest of my furniture.  She is going to ship it to me.”

  Bryce and I previously agreed that I would keep the living room furniture and he would keep the family room furniture. We purchased the furniture prior to our dating and subsequent marriage.  I had no qualms about that. Actually, I was gloating a little.  Bryce was incurring this additional expense because I changed the locks when I discovered he was sneaking in to remove his personal items.  Not wanting to face me, Bryce moved to California with nothing other than the clothes on his back. So, I responded…

  “No problem.  Just tell her to call me to schedule a time. Is that all?”

  “Actually, no.  My mother also wants you to return the bedroom furniture she gave us.  She wants to keep it in the family.  She will pick everything up on the same day.”

  “What the hell! Bryce, are you telling me that your mother is going to take my bedroom furniture?  She is not allowed to be an Indian-giver! You and I did not agree to that”

  “Angel, she did give it to us and it has been in our family for years.”

  “Yes, but your mother was looking for someone to give it to. It was a gift! Honestly, it’s not as if she gave us expensive antique furniture.  She’ll probably put it in the basement with all of the other shit she has stockpiled.”

  “Angel, she wants the furniture back, so you need to give it to her.  She only gave it to us because of me and now that we are getting a divorce, she wants it back.  Just make sure the bedroom furniture is with the family room furniture when my mother comes.  All of it – the bed, mattress, dresser, chest of drawers – all of it.”

 “Your mother will get both sets of furniture when I damn well feel like giving it to her.  If I have to spend thousands of dollars to purchase nice bedroom furniture so I can have a place to sleep, then I will do so when the time is right for ME!  Considering neither you nor your mother is offering financial assistance for this new furniture, an expense I might add that is not part of my budget, you will have to wait. You know Bryce, what really pisses me off is that after all you have taken me through, the least you could do is stand up to your mother and tell her No.”

 “Fine! Just call me when she can pick up the furniture.”

I don’t know if I am feeling sentimental, stubborn, or righteous indignation, but who in the hell picks up the phone to say, ‘I know I gave you that bed, but now that you are getting a divorce, I want it back.’ Who does that kind of thing? I was so upset; I wanted to spit on my mother-in-law.

  Okay, time for lunch, I need to cry. Today has turned into a very bad day.