Bitter Ex-Wives & Other Freaks of Nature

Being the new wife takes on a new demension when the EX won’t let go. My true story…

March 26, 2000 – Late Night Conversations August 4, 2007

Filed under: fashion, girlfriends, piercings — bitterexwives @ 5:30 am

  Dionne, the leader of my dance group called to say she cancelled practice for tomorrow night. Yeah, I thought, another opportunity to shop for furniture.  As Dionne and I continued to talk, we discussed my furniture dilemma.

“Angel, with all of this drama going on, you need to do something for you.”

“I know, I know.  Sometimes it is difficult to develop enough energy to want to leave the house and when I do, I always struggle with what it is I should do.”

“Is there something you always wanted to do?”

“Like what do you mean?”

“Anything…a tattoo, a haircut, a body piercing?”

“I already have a tattoo.  And during the summer (pre-marriage) before I reported for my first semester of fall classes I had my nose pierced.  I don’t want to look like one of those kids in a rock band, but I must admit I have always wanted to get my navel pierced like yours.  I think men find naval piercings sexy.”

“Name the day, place, time and I am there.”

“Where did you get your navel pierced?”

“ACME near the university. Hey, what are you doing tomorrow night?”

“Not a damn thing!”

“Well you do now. I will call ACME tomorrow to make you an appointment to get your navel pierced.  How does 7:00 p.m. sound to you?”

“Great! Unless you call me to cancel, I will see you at ACME, tomorrow night, at 7:00 p.m.

 

March 26, 2000 (Early Evening) – Furniture Shopping August 4, 2007

Filed under: divorce, furniture, life, mother-in-law — bitterexwives @ 5:02 am

  My shopping expedition for bedroom furniture began this afternoon at Macy’s in Castleton Mall. Based on this experience, I decided that I absolutely, without question or doubt, abhor furniture shopping!  Never in my entire life, did I know there were so many furniture stores located within the Indianapolis area. Macy’s was selected because; I could combine furniture shopping with clothes shopping. That way I was guaranteed some measure of success. Even if I failed to procure a bedroom suite I was guaranteed to leave the mall with a fabulous pair of shoes.

  Once inside Macy’s Furniture Gallery, I was immediately overwhelmed with the sheer number of choices available to me. Prior to leaving the house, I had not given the furniture selection process enough thought.  My only predetermined decision consisted of:

• a queen sized bed;
• a firm mattress;
• a dresser; and
• a chest of drawers. 

  While walking through the Furniture Gallery, I was accosted by hundreds of manufacturers, styles, and colors.  Not to mention a wide range of prices and varying degrees of quality.  There were sleigh beds, poster beds, and beds made of wrought iron.  There were twin size, full size, queen size, and two types of king sized beds.  Wood choices became difficult – maple or pine, hard wood or softer woods, or no wood at all.  Why do furniture stores carry such large selections of furniture?  How am I supposed to select quality furniture within my budget? What if upon delivery I decide I hate my purchase – can I return it?

  Immediately intimidated, I flagged down the nearest sales consultant.  (Is sales consultant politically correct?) Two hours later, I left Macy’s Furniture Gallery, without making a purchase, but with a greater level of understanding of my likes and dislikes. With the help of the ever so friendly Roxanne, Wonder Woman Sales Consultant, I had a list of bedroom suites I really liked with catalogs describing not only the set, but also other available complimentary pieces within the same group offered by the manufacturer.

  While in the car, I cried at the unfairness of it all.  Why do I have to give back to my soon-to-be ex-mother-in-law the bedroom furniture she gave Bryce after we married? “Enough Angel”, I chastised myself, “you are on a mission.  Now get to it!” My next stop was Crate&Barrel in Fashion Mall at Keystone.

 

March 26, 2000 (Afternoon) – Finding Peace With God August 4, 2007

Filed under: bitterness, divorce, life, love, peace — bitterexwives @ 3:30 am

  I just arrived home from church. It is still difficult to go, but this morning when I awoke, I knew it was meant for me to go.  For the first time in months, there was a sense of urgency within me to go to the house of the Lord for prayer, praise, and worship. 

  There has been an anger almost to the point of bitterness festering within me.  I committed my life to God almost ten years ago.  Has my life been perfect? No – but I have always tried my best to be the person that God has called me to be.  That is why for years I participated in dance, Bible Studies, assisting with baptisms, assisting with prayer for others, working with the teenagers, participating in outreach programs, setting up and managing the church bookstore, and numerous other activities. During these last few months, I could not understand why God would allow this terrible thing to happen to me.  Why me? Why did my husband cheat on me? Why did he lie to me?  Why did he leave me?  Why didn’t Bryce fight for me? I was angry that God refused to snap his fingers and immediately restore my life and marriage.  There were many nights when I cried…DO SOMETHING GOD!  Hurry up and make Bryce see how wrong he is.  Make Bryce see how much I love and need him. Make him miserable without me!

  While in prayer during service, I received my answer. I began to see things out of God’s eyes…The greatest gift God has given us was His Son, Jesus Christ.  The second was free will.  God always loves us, regardless of whether we love Him – we are simply given the choice to love Him in return.  I realized that I am no more powerful than God.  If God has given us the choice to love Him, who am I to think or even expect God to make Bryce love me.  What made me think that I could force Bryce to love me? Even though God has the power, if He won’t use it to make us love Him why would He use it to make Bryce love me.  While painful to acknowledge…I came to terms with the fact that not only did I have unrealistic expectations, I was being foolish.

  Before leaving church, I released my anger and asked for forgiveness. For the first time in months, I experienced a sense of peace.

 

March 25, 2000 – Libel or Slander? August 1, 2007

Filed under: advertising, bitterness, divorce, libel, life, love, slander — bitterexwives @ 2:22 am

  All day I have been thinking about making flyers and posting them around Margo’s old church and job.  Something like…

“Beware! If you see this woman run for cover.  She is a known husband thief.”

or

 ”Alert! Your marriage is not safe in the presence of this woman!”

or

“This is my marriage before Margo…This is my marriage after Margo.  Any questions?”

  I really hate Margo right now.  I keep thinking that Bryce’s mother is going to give my bedroom furniture to Margo now that they are in a relationship.  And now I hate Bryce.  Maybe I could post flyers at his old job and send copies to the management staff at his current location.  I am going to poll Celeste and Abigail to see which of the following they would choose…

“Liar, adulterer, creator of broken hearts…Bryce King.”

or

“If integrity is not your concern…hire Bryce King.”

or

“Bryce King…continued failure to satisfy sexually.”

or

“Bryce King…a master of deception and teller of lies.”

  Considering all of the allegations are true am I committing libel or slander?  What’s the worse they can do?  Sue me?  Go-ahead Bryce…make my day!

 

 

March 24, 2000 – Monster-In-Law July 31, 2007

Filed under: bitterness, divorce, family, life, mother-in-law — bitterexwives @ 3:46 pm

  This morning I rose and made a resolution.  Call it a New Day Resolution…I was going to be happy today.  I purposed to think happy thoughts and to cry as little as possible, which so far has decreased to twice a day!

  I picked out the cutest outfit – black fitted pants from Express with the matching fitted vest made of some bizarre stretchy but chic material.  You know, Destiny’s Child tight not Alice from Mel’s Diner tight.  To finish my ensemble, I included a long sleeve fitted t-shirt and chunky wedge heels from Nine West.  I was sexy and probably dressed more appropriately for the club instead of work. What the hell – I was cute and my boobs weren’t showing!  When the guys working in the parking garage at work paid me a little extra attention, I was convinced my outfit was the right choice.  I actually felt good about myself.

  With a productive morning behind me and no tears shed, I was on cloud nine and ready for lunch. Then my phone rang – office phone, not a cell phone, because I am too cheap to incur the expense. Considering I had not heard from Bryce in a week, I was quite surprised to hear his voice on the other end.

  “Angel, I don’t have a lot of time to talk. I need to schedule a time for my mother to pick up the rest of my furniture.  She is going to ship it to me.”

  Bryce and I previously agreed that I would keep the living room furniture and he would keep the family room furniture. We purchased the furniture prior to our dating and subsequent marriage.  I had no qualms about that. Actually, I was gloating a little.  Bryce was incurring this additional expense because I changed the locks when I discovered he was sneaking in to remove his personal items.  Not wanting to face me, Bryce moved to California with nothing other than the clothes on his back. So, I responded…

  “No problem.  Just tell her to call me to schedule a time. Is that all?”

  “Actually, no.  My mother also wants you to return the bedroom furniture she gave us.  She wants to keep it in the family.  She will pick everything up on the same day.”

  “What the hell! Bryce, are you telling me that your mother is going to take my bedroom furniture?  She is not allowed to be an Indian-giver! You and I did not agree to that”

  “Angel, she did give it to us and it has been in our family for years.”

  “Yes, but your mother was looking for someone to give it to. It was a gift! Honestly, it’s not as if she gave us expensive antique furniture.  She’ll probably put it in the basement with all of the other shit she has stockpiled.”

  “Angel, she wants the furniture back, so you need to give it to her.  She only gave it to us because of me and now that we are getting a divorce, she wants it back.  Just make sure the bedroom furniture is with the family room furniture when my mother comes.  All of it – the bed, mattress, dresser, chest of drawers – all of it.”

 ”Your mother will get both sets of furniture when I damn well feel like giving it to her.  If I have to spend thousands of dollars to purchase nice bedroom furniture so I can have a place to sleep, then I will do so when the time is right for ME!  Considering neither you nor your mother is offering financial assistance for this new furniture, an expense I might add that is not part of my budget, you will have to wait. You know Bryce, what really pisses me off is that after all you have taken me through, the least you could do is stand up to your mother and tell her No.”

 ”Fine! Just call me when she can pick up the furniture.”

I don’t know if I am feeling sentimental, stubborn, or righteous indignation, but who in the hell picks up the phone to say, ‘I know I gave you that bed, but now that you are getting a divorce, I want it back.’ Who does that kind of thing? I was so upset; I wanted to spit on my mother-in-law.

  Okay, time for lunch, I need to cry. Today has turned into a very bad day.